I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
