You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
