I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
