Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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