You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
