I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
