He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
