no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
