im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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