My room smells like vodka and shame
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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