If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
