Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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