come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
