nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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