He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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