he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You may now shotgun with the bride
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
