I got her a Nickelback box set.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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