Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
