Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
