go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
