Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
