I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
