Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
