I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
