Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
