Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I've blown a few things in my day
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
