I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
