therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
