I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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