Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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