I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
