Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
