i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
