Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
