If that was your dad, he is hot
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
