was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
