Are we in a gay sports bar?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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