I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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