i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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