She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
