if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
