The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
