I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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