im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
