don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
