fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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