Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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