I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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