I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The Olympian is in my bed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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