Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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