Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
