Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
